Earlier in the summer I told you about my friend who kept putting me in bad situations and lying all the time. I referred to her as a narcissist as she definitely was that. She was someone who always had to be important, feel important, and benefited from whatever she did. If she helped someone she went around bragging to everyone about helping them so she would feel important.
Well I haven’t spoken to her since she didn’t respect my boundaries for a second time putting me in a horrible situation with a guy. Recently a mutual friend of ours asked me why I tied to break her and her boyfriend up. I didn’t know what that friend was talking about. It came out she went around telling people that I hacked her phone and computer to try to make it look like I was having a secret relationship with her boyfriend to break them up right after our friendship ended. I couldn’t help but laugh. Obviously this wasn’t true.
When our friendship ended I went my own way and didn’t give her a second thought. Sadly I wasn’t upset after all the drama and lies. I found myself relieved, I didn’t need to pursue anything any further. I didn’t even tell anyone anything about why things went south after six years of friendship. She used the situation of the demise of our friendship to make herself seem more important to me then she was and to victimize herself. In the end it just convinced me that I made the right choice of ending a very unhealthy friendship. These kind of friends are self important friends…They are to selfish to think about anyone but themselves. They are so insecure they have to lie to make themselves feel and look important. In the end however the lies come out and these people are revealed for who they really are…The narcissist. People who can only love themselves.
I never confronted her as it does no good to confront people who are like this. They are convinced they are right and everyone else is wrong. They are even convinced of their own lies. They are master manipulators. There is no reasoning with these people or calling them out because they see nothing they do as wrong.
The best thing to do is do not go after revenge but just to ignore them and move one. If people ask you of the lies then be honest. Your true friends who really know you will know the truth anyway. So whatever web of deceit these people spin on you will not matter in the end.
You soon realize who is really your friend when you distance yourself from unhealthy people….When they can no longer use you to benefit them…When you no longer play into their drama…..They will attack your reputation because they have no other way to try to get to you. When you don’t care or react then you win in the end….Because a narcissist loves a reaction more than anything. Without it the only game they play is with themselves.
Be the better person and walk away.
I can share bits on my life on here because most of these people do not even know I write about them on my page.
“Bad friends will prevent you from having good friends.” – Author Known