How to successfully date someone hot and cold? This is a simple answer!!! You can’t….Let me explain. You are with a guy, dating, talking, or whatever…He seems so warm and nurturing towards you. He is so in to you. You see this heading somewhere with a future. Then something happens. Perhaps something small or it could be nothing happens….Then he just goes cold. Out of nowhere he doesn’t seem to like you anymore. He stops initiating contact or texting you at all. It like a light switch..He went from the most caring person in the to not caring about you one way or another. Does this sound familiar….There are people who can actually switch off their feelings this fast.
I was kind of talking to someone like this for months. He was so caring. He said all the right things. He would text me all the time. He cared about my day, my life, and my feelings. He wanted me around. I saw us eventually progressing to so much more. His work kept him really busy and always moving. In fact he was told he might be moving December or January. He ignored me for four days before I texted him and he told me. We got in a discussion about the situation. He said from personal experience long distance relationships didn’t work. I then said it seemed like he was a different city different girl kind of guy…Then the tables turned on me. He said he didn’t have time for someone to make assumptions or presumptions about him. I apologized a lot. Then ignored me for days. He then decided he needed space for weeks. Even when I tried to come back and talk to him he shut me completely out. He didn’t text me..I was always texting him. He started acting like he didn’t want me around and got mad at me for every little thing. It didn’t matter what I did it was like a switch he wanted nothing to do with me. Only every time I asked him if he was done he wouldn’t say it. He even said he just needed time. I asked if we could go back to talking the way we were. He said he would consider it but never would. This went on for a month. He stopped caring and liking me just like that. My feelings no longer mattered.
In his past he said he fought a lot. In his past marriage he said the fights never went anywhere so he just never did conflict. He also said his relationships didn’t work because he never did conflict and his job kept him always moving. He was someone who has always been able to turn his feelings off just like that and walk away with out a thought in the world.
This last weekend he finally told him he saw no point to starting anything because he was leaving in a month. So in a way what I said about ” A different city a different girl.” was right on. I had filled my purpose while he was here. He is a guy who wants a relationship with one person but only while he is in their city. Once he moves its over. Hes able to cut ties, feelings, and walk away.
Hear what I have to say… If you date someone who runs hot and cold. You will always feel alone. They will be able to walk away at any time and not care. Most the time the only thing they care about is their own feelings. They are unable to care about anyone els’s. If you two fight then your mistakes will always be bigger and they will make you feel horrible for them not matter how small they are. You will never be good enough for them. Dating them will be a constant battle.
Do you really want to care about someone who could stop caring about you just like that? Do you want someone who could care less about your feelings then to stomp all over them? Do you want someone who could belittle your heart like this?
The truth is if you are the type of person who really cares about people with most of your heart….. If you are someone who is dedicated to making any of your relationships work…… If you get attached easy…..If it takes you a while to get over someone……Hot and cold people will hurt you more than most people..They put you on a high with the tentativeness and then lover you with their ice coldness till you are brokenhearted.
Don’t waste your time of heart one someone who is hot and cold because they will make you question your self worth. Find someone who will stick around in the good times and bad. Someone who will still like you when they are mad at you. Someone who knows how they feel about. Find someone who can’t turn off their feelings like a switch.
Love yourself to know what you deserve and don’t settle for anything less. You’re a diamond. It someone can’t see your value then just know they never will. This is about them. Not about you.
You will never be important enough to person who runs hot and cold for them to change…..They will always be hot and cold. You will always wonder where you stand.
“If you can’t figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing with them and start walking.” – Author Unknown