“I started talking to this amazing guy online. He has so many qualities I am looking for. He seems to really be into me. We really click when texting.” Then weeks pass. You talk about meeting in person but there is always an excuse. A month goes by or even two and you guys text all the time but you have never actually met him. How many of you have experienced this situation? This has happened to me. The reality is he is not going to meet you.
I went through this with one guy who would drop in and out of my virtual life for a few years. Every time the weekend came we were supposed to meet he would disappear or something would come up. Eventually it came out he had no intention o ever meeting me. He was just playing around on the internet with lots of girls and I was part of his collection. I blocked him and never spoke to him again.
I recently met a wonderful guy online. I felt like we might have a connection. He had so many wonderful qualities I wanted in a guy. He would say good morning and good night. He was very forward with no games. The problem was he lived three hours away. Talking it didn’t seem like it was very far away. We even talked about driving and meeting up. The problem was he worked every weekend. Every time it came up the excuses came. I even mentioned that I didn’t mind driving. It seemed like he shot me down all the time. Now a month has passed. I texted him that even if nothing ever happened between us I hope we could still be friends. He said of course. I haven’t heard from him in almost two days. I think he knows what I am feeling and where this is going.
Listen to me. If a person wants to meet you they will put in the effort to meet you. They will drive and hour or three hours to meet you. They will coordinate a way to see you even if its meeting halfway. Or ask you to come see them because of their work situation. If they don’t its because for one reason or another they do not want to.
Here are a few reasons why they are texting but not meeting you:
- They are emotionally unavailable and don’t really want a real relationship.
- They are catfishing you and are not the person in the picture.
- They are already in a relationship or married and they don’t actually want to cheat in person.
- They are benching you so they can brows other chicks while enjoying your attention.
- This is a game and they are just getting their feet wet in the dating pool.
- They are really not interested in you like that.
- They are clearly hiding something.
Texting relationships never work and always ends. What happens is that one person ends up moving on while the other doesn’t understands what happened. It can’t go anywhere. If you can’t spend time with someone and get to know them so you can build potentially something that could turn to something then all you are really is a text message.
Granted you can like someone over text and connect with them. You can even start to build a strong connection over text. Develop some feelings even. But it’s not real until you have that person to person connection.
Texting relationships are nothing but pen pals. Its a trap.
Make this rule: Give them a month and give them every opportunity to meet. Bring it up and try to make it easy for them. After a month if all they have given you is excuses and you still haven’t met them then end things.
You may send this text if you really want to but I wouldn’t do or send anything else after it.
“Hey you. 🙂 I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed texting you. You seem like a really awesome person with many qualities I really like. But I am looking for someone I can meet in person an spend time with. Not a strictly a texting relationship. I really hope we can stay friends and I hope you find what you are looking for:)”
Just remember not to settle for less than you deserve. Don’t let someone waste your time. Know your value. Online dating is really hard. Create some boundaries so you don’t end up in these situations. Don’t date a cell phone!!!
“Actions speak louder than words. Words are meaningless. Effort shows someone your really interested and care. Require it and show it.”