The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. We all have been there. Maybe the person you are dating starts dating someone else. Maybe you have gotten dumped for someone else. Maybe you guy is checking out some other girl or you find out he cheated on you. Perhaps you were passed over for promotion and someone else got what you worked so hard to get. Maybe you have a friend who has everything you want. Is there someone you have been around or seen and you wish you were them?
Envy is one of the oldest traps. We see someone who has something we want or we see someone with traits we wish we had. We are so hard on ourselves constantly comparing ourselves to others making ourselves feel so insecure or inadequate.
The truth is someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be funnier. Someone will always be richer. Someone will always have more of something. That someone will never be you. There is always going to be one you and that person is pretty awesome. When you are enough for you then none of these things will even matter. You will be much happier.
Here are a few ways to stop comparing yourself to others:
- Catch yourself. If you focus on catching yourself comparing yourself to others you will be amazed how often you find yourself doing it.
- Find perspective. It is never okay to compare the beginning of your journey to any point of someone elses. You are being way to hard on yourself.
- Express gratitude. List out reasons why where you are in life is great.
- Find encouragement. Find mentors in other peoples successes. Be inspired by them. Don’t compare or be envious of them.
- Daydream about your future. Think about your future without confinements. Be enthusiastic about your possibilities.
- Think about what has comparison has done for you. Has it broken your heart? Has it bullied you? No one has ever found happiness comparing themselves to others.
- Work on being your best self instead of wanting to be someone else.
- Retrain your brain. When you see someone doing well compliment them instead of comparing yourself to them. Encourage their successes instead of taring them or yourself down.
- Keep it realistic. We see someone or a picture and we assume how perfect their life or relationships are. The truth is they have problems just like the rest of us that we can’t see. Don’t assume that someone has the perfect life just because you can’t see under the surface.
- Live your ideal life. Instead of dreaming about someone elses life focus on being happy with yours. Be happy with what you have. Even if it is not the most expensive items or certain people. Look for all the positives in what you have and what it has done for you. Focus on your goals. Focus on your achievements. Focus on the self love you have for yourself.
- Compare yourself to yourself. Work on being a better version of yourself. The only person you should compare yourself to is the you of yesterday.
- Name some truths. Everyone has good days and bad days. Everyone feels sad sometimes. Everyone feels happy sometimes. Everyone goes to the bathroom. Everyone gets their heart broken.
- Social media. Social media lies. Everyone always makes their lives seem so much better than it actually is. Everyone fronts how amazing their relationships are on the net. No one wants the world to know how bad things actually are in parts of their life so they are not going to post those. The truth is, you can’t believe anything you see on social media. It is not your friend.
- Give yourself a break. You are doing the best you can and you are enough. No need to be your biggest critic.
- Surround yourself with positive people. Not people who are going to criticize you and make you feel inferior.
I have so many issues with comparing myself to others. I am my biggest critic. I always have to work on not comparing myself to other people. I am always working on loving myself and being happy with myself.
Jealousy is the biggest killer of happiness.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ” – Carrie Fisher