It’s a trap. Take it from someone who knows. Settling to be someone’s side piece only devalues you. You become someone you don’t want to be. You do things you don’t want to do. You hurt people who you never wanted to hurt. He is wasting your time and your heart. You are settling for someone elses stolen moments. Someone you are hurting you really doesn’t deserve it.
He will never love you the way you want him to love you…….
The reason they call you the other woman is because the OTHER woman seldom wins. Nine times out of ten the other woman ends up with nothing and the one who is hurt at the end of any side piece situationship. Sometimes the gf, wife, or a family ends up hurt. But usually the other woman loses out. There are no winners here.
How do I know???? I did something I never thought I would ever do. I was the other woman once. I have dated a married man once but I didn’t know he was married so I don’t count that situation. The situation I am talking about is very different. I am not proud of what I did. It was very wrong for so many reasons. I am not perfect and I make mistakes that I later regret. Here is my story…….
I met P online. He was on a few dating sites. He was a pipeliner located in West Texas for a job. His home was seven hours away. He always made excuses for not wanting to jump in a relationship. His old girlfriend passing away was one he loved to use a lot. We talked for like five months off and on. I really liked him. I had no idea the whole time I was talking to him while he was on these dating sites that he was already dating someone.
Eventually he told me about her. At first it was nothing serious. Then he finally told me she was his girlfriend. He made out like nothing had really changed except that she had a label. I already had feelings for him because I talked to him all that time. I did the one thing I swore I never would do. I was the other woman. I hated what I was doing. I was cheating myself and I was doing something to another girl I swore I never would do. I was hurting her in a way she never deserved. All because I cared about thins guy who clearly only cared about himself. I should have said no and I should have ran. Both of us ladies deserved so much more than that.
He was lying to her so could spare her feelings and so no one would know what he was doing. He was honest with me about her but not fully about the situation with her. He tried to make it out like he would never lie to me but the truth was he was less than honest to both of us. He told me about her because he did not care enough about my feelings to lie to me.
He went back and forth to me. He always put me on the back burner for her. Once he made plans with me then backed off when she came down for a week. He still messaged me and sent me pictures throughout the time she was there. It was just hidden moments. I felt bad. While she was trying to make her relationship work with him he was cheating on her.
I did look her up. I compared myself to her. I felt bad and made myself feel bad. I broke my own heart. The truth was I felt guilty as well for what I was doing to her. She didn’t deserve what I was doing. Comparing yourself to someone is never a good thing anyway. As the other woman you shouldn’t be jealous of the main chick. You should feel bad for her. Because you are hurting her. Feel bad because she is with someone who cheats on her and lies to her. If he did it once you know he will do it again.
P eventually moved back home to be with his girlfriend. He never loved me. I lost out. I was the one who ended up hurt. I know I probably deserved it but it was still really hard for me. He said he never wanted his girlfriend to know because he didn’t want to hurt her but the truth is he was just saving himself. He didn’t want her to find out because then everyone he knows would know what he did. He was just selfish. I told him I wouldn’t tell her and I didn’t.
The truth is even though I would like to think I was special or I meant something to him, I met him on a dating site where he was also talking to other woman while he was dating someone. I probably wasn’t even the only girl he was doing this with. I probably won’t be the last.
I was cheated on. I never thought I would ever do that to someone else and I hurt another woman in the same way I was hurt. I will always feel bad about that. I have learned from my mistakes. I have forgiven myself and I have added value to myself. I will never be the other woman again. I will be THE MAIN WOMAN next time. I will find a man one day who will only want me.
You can’t really love yourself if you allowing him to use you and asking you to share him with someone else.
Cheaters use false promises and lies as their tools of deception. At the end of the say non of them are ever true.
The thing is ladies you are only devaluing yourself by settling to be the other woman. They never leave their girlfriends or wives. They lie to make the situation seem like it is really not so bad what your doing. The truth is, it is bad what your doing. Also if they do end leaving their girlfriend or wife for you then the chances of them doing the same thing to you is greater. Once a cheat always a cheat. Your not winning anything here. He is not a keeper.
Find a guy who prioritizes you. Don’t choose a cheater. Date a guy who is emotionally available to you.
Don’t waste your heart…………….
Find some self respect.
Love yourself more than to be someone’s side piece.
Make yourself the main chick in your own life.
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick …” – Unknown