This is my first piece on my blog. Today we are going to talk about being a protectionist and how it can negatively affect you life. We are going to discuss ways to stop this malicious cycle.
- Do you have to do everything and be everything?
- Do you feel overwhelmed and tired all the time trying to please everyone?
- Are you never satisfied to the point that you are always criticizing yourself and never unhappy?
- Are you completely filled with self doubt?
- Do you feel trapped?
How many times have you tried to stop being a protectionist only to end up in the same pattern. You could be self sabotaging yourself trying to do everything so prefect. This may be hard to believe but people are not perfect and dreams don’t always have to be perfect either. In fact if you read history books, many great important people failed at many things before they finally succeed. Failure is a part of success and the lessons that come with it.
Perfectionism can stop you from seeing many opportunities and keeps your view very narrow instead of allowing you to see the whole picture. You are so focused on an all or nothing attitude that you have blinded yourself from seeing the small accomplishments that bring you closer to your goals.
Live your life to the fullest instead of always worrying about how life should be and stop being so focused on your failures. Constant negativity keeps your from living a happy life.
Perfectionism is the fear of not ever being good enough and stems from trying to please everyone. This is a process of eternal self judgment. This process will limit everything you could possibly accomplish through fear and constant doubt.
Protectionism stems from many factors including being in constant survival mode. It is the way you survived your world. This has many effects. You always feel so anxious. Your health diminishes. You fear trying new things or the unknown. You are scared of taking risks without knowing a sure outcome. You stop finding joy in life. You stop having fun and stay in a very responsible role. Never cutting lose or letting anything go. You don’t allow yourself to feel when negative things happen because you are to busy holding everything together.
Here are ten ways to stop being your worst enemy.
- Create realistic goals and expectations that don’t have to be perfect.
- Use positive feedback and self rewards to dispute your inner critic as well as negative thought in achieving your goals.
- Do something for yourself and treat yourself to something you enjoy.
- Practice healthy boundaries and saying no to extra tasks not directly related to your goals.
- Force yourself to take time off for downtime to recharge yourself and rest so you have the energy to continue to pursue your dreams while practicing self care.
- Trust it will all get done on time instead of constantly worrying. You have been completing tasks on time your whole life. You already know how to get tasks done on time.
- Take breaks and recharge. Self care is just as important as accomplishments. You should never run yourself into the ground.
- Stop multitasking so much. You are stretching yourself thin. You will be constantly stressing yourself out.
- Stop holding others to your self perfection standard. It is easy to try to hold others to the same standard we try to hold ourselves to. No one is perfect. The sooner you adjust your standards the happier you will be.
One thing you can also practice to help you decompress and de-stress from being so perfect is breathing excises and meditation. You can find many of these wonderful routines on the internet. I can also recommend one in a coaching session. Another great way to let everything go is a hot cup of chamomile tea and a nice warm bath or shower with your favorite soaps, shampoos, and bath salts.
Taking time for yourself and pampering yourself is very important for self love and self care.
Remember you are enough!!!!!
“Rome wasn’t built in a day.” – You don’t have to be perfect to accomplish your dreams. In fact perfectionism is the very death of living a happy fulfilled life because it is an impossible goal to ever reach.