Beware of creeps. By creeps I am talking about guys who will use situations to try to have their way with you or force you in a very uncomfortable position.
Avoid toxic situations and people. This may mean never visiting a place again or completing banning a person from your life. You have to be able to be comfortable and love yourself enough to know when your in a bad position. You have to feel it in your gut and know it’s time to get out. Trust your gut enough to follow it. It is your friend.
Allow me to tell you about the situation I am dealing with now. It started out as a favor for a friend. I went on a double date several months ago. I didn’t like this guy at all. It was strictly a favor. He is not my type in the least. Our friends for whatever reason want us together and keep trying to push the issue. But I can tell you I don’t like this guy at all. It has even gotten to the point I can’t even be friends with him. Let me explain…..
This guy is a creep. When I say creep I mean hes completely obsessed with me. I sometimes go to his house to visit my friend who sometimes stays there on the weekends with her guy who happens to be his best friend. This guy won’t keep his hands off of me. It started off innocent and its escalated with him putting his hands on me more and more. He keeps touching my butt and feeling me up. I try being polite. I have tried being nice. I have said stop. For whatever reason, he has it in his head I want it. He’s the only one having fun though. My friends keep encouraging him. I am scared to do anything because I know if I’m rude to him I will lose my friends and will be asked to leave because its his house. A lot of times I’ve already been drinking and I can’t leave. If I do Ill be in another really bad position. I find myself on my own and completely at his mercy. He thinks because its his house he has a right to my body for some reason and I am getting worried about what else he might do.
I admit we have had some very deep conversations and joked around but I have never invited him to touch my body. He also has invented his own reality in his head. I sent a guy I was seeing a while back something very provocative. My other friends were messing with him asking him if he wanted to see it. I didn’t ask him if he wanted to see it. I didn’t even have the provocative piece anymore in my phone. I had already deleted it. He somehow invented in his own head that I asked him if he wanted to see it. He also has invented in his head that I like him when I don’t. I have made it clear I only wanted to be friends. He has become very delusional. He keeps disrespecting me and crossing my boundaries. He doesn’t understand that no means no and it keeps getting worse. I really believe he is the type of guy that will be in trouble with the law one day because of all this. This is a very scary thing.
This situation is only going to one place. It is only a matter of time before he tries something much worse. I must love myself to see the situation as a whole and take myself out of an uncomfortable situation. You must value and respect yourself enough to stay away from people who do not value or respect you.
I have cut all ties with this individual. I have blocked him on everything. I won’t be going back to that house. I am taking myself out of a very bad position and creating my boundaries for myself. I will only visit places and people who make me feel safe and comfortable.
As for my friends, they actually tried to blame me for the situation. They actually tried to say I brought it on myself because they said I flirted with this guy. I know its not trued because I told my one friend to please tell this guy I was not interested in him. He wasn’t my type. Then I texted this guy saying they same thing and I only wanted to be friends. I also complained to my friend for several weeks about this guy always touching me. You can ask any of my other friends and they will tell you hes not my type. In fact these friends were encouraging him and thought the whole thing was funny because they knew there was no way I would ever be into him. The truth is they were just trying to protect the pervert in the situation and themselves because they were complicit.
The fact is if a girl flirts with a guy. It doesn’t mean she wants to be molested by him. It doesn’t matter what a girl wears, her sexual history, or even if she likes the person in question no one has the right to your body. Anyone that tells you this is not your friend and only out for themselves. Find new friends. These are not your true friends.
Remember you didn’t do anything to deserve to be treated like this so don’t accept this kind of treatment. Guys who respect you and see your value would not treat you like this. Do not justify it by saying hes a guy so of course he is going to do this. I know many guys who would never treat a woman like this.
Know The Red Flags of a Creep
- Guys who won’t take no for an answer.
- Guys who invent situations or realities in their heads.
- Guys who are all hands on against your will.
- Guys who are seriously jealous of the guys you are dating.
- Guys who stalk you.
- Guys who refuse to accept you have no feelings for them.
The guy above has all these red flags. I noticed them right away. He is has the potential of being a future rapist. I do see him hurting a woman one day but it won’t be me.
Ways to take back your power. I used these to help me.
- Talk to a close friend you can trust and who will be on your side.
- Put distance between yourself and the toxic individual.
- Cut all ties and block all communication with this individual.
- Journal about your feelings.
- Buy pepper spray, taser, or possibly a weapon of some kind to help yourself feel safe.
- Reach out to a crises center if you are feeling really creeped out.
- Worse comes to worse report the person. You can do a closed report so nothing will happen unless the situation gets worse or he/she gets in trouble with the law for hurting another person. This will pop us a history showing that he/she has a past of treating people like this.
You’re a diamond born to shine. Don’t let someone treat you like a rock and dull your self worth. No one has any right to steal your shine.
Take the toxic out of your life. Ditch the creeps. You don’t even have to say anything to them. Avoid the drama all together. Just know you deserve better and disappear. That is what that block button is for. Use it!!!
Take back your power!!!!!!